Adventures in dating {again after 12 years}
Photo: black words on white background that read: “Take a moment and marvel. Marvel at all that you have become. At all that you have grown, expanded, let go, connected, loved, received, given, cried, smiled and laughed. At how you sat with and healed your way through darkness. At how you opened yourself up bit by bit to life. At how you came home to yourself. Day by day.” - by Girl and her moon.
The laughter.
The non-stop conversation.
I Couldn’t Take My Eyes Off Of Him.
But man, could he talk.
Like, take a breath dude. Seriously, breathe.
But please, don’t take your eyes off of mine.
Good gawed those blue eyes were piercing my soul but so damn gently.
How is that even possible?
Are you going to ask ME something?
Oh good, here come the questions.
Oh and another story before I can finish my answer … Ok…
Deep Breaths, Robyn … Welcome Back To The Dating World.
It’s only been 12 years, of course you’re rusty.
Maybe stop asking him so many questions.
Deep convos fill my soul.
Photo: Robyn, with her eyes closed, glasses on, hand on her heart, smiling, standing in her office.
The highly sensitive therapist in me likes to go deep, fast.
Wow, he’s really keeping up with me.
Where’s The Ground?
I suddenly feel like my feet have left the safety of the floor beneath me.
Ehhh just go with it, Robyn.
Stay here.
It’s not like you to allow yourself to float like this.
EVER.
THAT’S ME - NOT ALLOWING MYSELF TO FLOAT.
The conversation could have kept going for 3 MORE hours, but I was freezing and my sports bra was still a bit wet from my hot, dusty trail run before I met up with him.
And SERIOUSLY?!?
In What World Did I Think Meeting Someone For The First Time, All Sweaty, Dusty And With NO Makeup On For A First Date Was A Good Idea?
OH, that’s right - the part of me that decided that if I dig him and he digs me, then he will be PLEASANTLY surprised to get the cleaned-up, make-up version of me.
For now, he gets the:
“No seriously, I love hiking and being out in the dirt - I’m not just staying that to sound cool or whatever,” version of me.
The version of me that had emerged from my Dark Night of the Soul.
The version of me that was like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, or whatever that saying is.
The version of me that went through a divorce I’d been longing for, survived a toxic, post-divorce relationship with a narcissist …
And Found My Way Back To Myself.
Having NEVER before allowed my feet to leave the ground.
Stay open, my dear.
Photo: Robyn standing next to a neon OPEN sign, with a dark background, near potted cactus plants.
And here I was, sitting across from a man, with the most beautiful soul (and smokin’ hot face).
And for the first time, I allowed my feet to metaphorically leave the safety of solid ground.
To my utter amazement, it wasn’t as scary as it seemed.
I Stayed Open To The Idea That My Life Could Be What I’d Always Wanted With Another Human.
If you’re reading this wondering, “Will I ever find my person?” … I FEEL YOU.
You never think, when you get married that one day you might get divorced.
You never think that you’ll be in your 40s or 50s and single … again.
You never think you’ll be back in the dating world after decades of only knowing how to be married or partnered.
Until it happens.
And then you get to decide how you wanna do this thing.
This unfamiliar, sometimes scary, totally nerve-racking and often times exhausting THING.
Putting yourself out there to be truly seen & loved again.
If you’re reading this feeling seen or intrigued and you’re looking for a guide & fellow traveler to join you on your journey BACK TO YOU..
Or you’re ready to head out on an expedition to discover a brand new version of you …
Let’s chat - Click the button below.
YES, I'M READY TO START THE JOURNEY
Because if it weren’t for my therapist, spiritual teachers, mentors, & soul-sisters … I don’t think I would have made it through my Dark Night of the Soul like I did.
And I certainly would not have allowed my feet to leave the ground that night on our first date and feel how safe I could actually be when I allowed my self to float a bit … and trust myself to stay tethered and make my way back to earth when I was ready.
We laugh together all the time.
Photo: Robyn with head back, laughing, next to her male partner who is holding a tiny, copper, mug.
